Ten tips for coping with Christmas after losing someone you love

Talk to your friends and family. They will be grateful if you tell them what you need as they will have been worrying about you. It doesn’t mean they don’t care if they don’t talk to you about it – it means they simply don’t know what to say.

Schedule time in the day to consider your grief. Instead of avoiding it, when it can come rising up at an inconvenient time, like at work, you can really focus on it. Look at photos, talk about happy memories, cry!, Concentrate on the time you had them with them and focus on this rather than the hole they have left in your life.

Do one thing during the day that is just for you. Be selfish! Watch your favourite TV programme with a glass of wine, or go for a walk, have a king size bar of chocolate; whatever it is, make sure you are able to schedule this and look forward to it. Whoever you are missing wants you to be happy.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you must be alone, ask a friend to call you just in case.

Tell people how you feel, and how difficult Christmas is going to be. Being surrounded by happy families and TV adverts showcasing something you feel you have lost is hard. Don’t expect people to intuitively know what you need, and don’t be scared to ask to spend time with friends even if they seem busy. They will probably be happy to help.

If you feel sad and depressed know that this is completely normal and that the first Christmas will be the worst. You know that it will get easier. It is perfectly ok to reach out for help. You are grieving and in pain.

Enjoy a festive tipple, but do not overindulge with alcohol. It is tempting to want to smother your pain with alcohol but this will just make you feel worse in the long run.

Have fun! This is probably the last thing you want to hear but ‘Life goes on’ and ‘life is for the living’. You know your loved one would want you to have fun and enjoy your life. It is not disrespectful to laugh during your darkest times; sometimes it is the only way to survive.

Most of all remember; you are not alone! If you need someone to talk to and some professional help, Cheryl King Counselling is here to help, so if you are looking for grief counselling in Preston don’t be afraid to reach out.


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